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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549539">hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhiantara/pseuds/zhiantara'>zhiantara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, First Time, Romance, Smut, awkward virgins, mild spoilers for the manga ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:06:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhiantara/pseuds/zhiantara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When once she’d kept all traces of it sealed away, Tohru now let desire be her guide.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>156</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yep, just another one of those "Tohru has to seduce her big dumb virgin boyfriend" smut fics. I ain't ashamed.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tohru had gotten the idea from Rin. Though really, it wasn’t so much an <i>idea</i> as it had been Rin tossing her the bundle of fabric and saying, “Look, I don’t think being subtle is going to work on him. If this doesn’t get your point across, then you’ll just have to walk into his room naked.”</p><p>Now that she stood in front of her mirror, Tohru didn’t see much of a difference between being naked and wearing this black lace nightgown. Even here, alone in her room, she had to fight the urge to cover her chest. Though it was probably much shorter on Rin, the nightgown only reached mid-thigh on Tohru--which wouldn’t have been so scandalous if the fabric wasn’t so sheer in most places. And tight! How could Rin possibly sleep in this?</p><p>Tohru immediately cringed at her own train of thought. <i>Because this sort of outfit isn’t for sleeping!</i> Rin wasn’t particularly vocal about her love life, but she didn’t need to be. She and Haru had an easy sort of physicality when they were together, draping arms and legs over each other, planting kisses as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Tohru wondered if they had always been like that, or if they, too, had gone through a stage of fumbling and blushing through every brush of skin.</p><p>Butterflies swarmed in her belly, and she bit her lip through the grin blooming on her face. There was no denying that she and Kyo were pretty awkward together. They’d only begun dating a little over a month ago, after she’d been released from the hospital and the curse had been broken. And even though she’d known Kyo for years now, she felt like they were discovering each other all over again. She’d learned that he liked to bury his face in her neck after they kissed; they’d both learned how much Tohru liked when he ran his fingers through her hair. They were awkward, yes, but Tohru treasured every bit of it.</p><p>Her only problem with this fledgling relationship had surfaced quite suddenly, a week prior. They’d been sitting on the roof, as they now did every night before bed. Kyo had pressed his forehead against hers and brushed his fingertips across her cheek before giving her a soft, slow kiss. Before he could pull away, Tohru had leaned in to deepen the kiss. She’d felt him sigh against her mouth, felt his pulse quicken where she’d had her hand wrapped around his wrist. And just when she’d felt bold enough to place her palm against his chest, Kyo had jumped back so quickly that he’d nearly lost his balance. Then he bid her goodnight with a chaste kiss on the cheek. Tohru had spent that night with the covers thrown off her bed.</p><p>It hadn't stopped with that night, either. Every kiss that lingered too long, every touch that strayed too far was met with the same reaction from Kyo, jerking away from her as if he'd been burned. And every night afterwards, Tohru went to bed with flushed skin, a racing heart, and an intangible ache in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>Kyo loved her. She had no doubts about that anymore, not since she’d left the hospital. Not much had changed about his behavior, really, it was only that she’d come to recognize all those little gestures for what they were: the way he carried things for her without asking, the casual touches, the soft smiles he saved only for her, it was all his quiet way of telling her how much he loved her. But now, this ravenous fire in her belly that Kyo had ignited with his breath on her lips made Tohru wonder how far that love went. Something was holding him back, and she needed to find out what it was, to find out if it was something she could change. She needed to find out before this fire ate her whole.</p><p>And tonight was her best chance. Yuki was out of town, looking at apartments that his brother had found for him. Shigure was visiting his parents at the main estate and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. It was the first night that she and Kyo had ever been alone together since they’d started dating, and it might be awhile before she got this chance again.</p><p>With clenched fists and a decisive nod, Tohru turned away from the mirror and threw open her bedroom door.</p><p>She got one foot out into the hallway before darting back inside and putting her burning-red face in her hands.</p><p>She couldn’t possibly do this! It was too bold, too presumptive. Kyo must’ve had his reasons for why he pushed her away, right? But then, why wasn’t he talking to her about it?</p><p>“Tohru?” Kyo’s voice calling from downstairs interrupted her internal debate. “You okay?”</p><p>“Yes!” she squeaked, then she cleared her throat and repeated, in a slightly more dignified voice, “Yes.” She only allowed herself a second’s hesitation before blurting out, “Could you come up here, please?”</p><p>As his footsteps thumped on the stairs, Tohru hopped back to stand in front of her bed. She put her hands behind her back and puffed up her chest in a vain attempt to fill out the top of the nightgown, which sagged away from her small breasts. Recalling some poses she’d seen models in magazines do, she arched her back and hooked one foot behind her leg. She cocked her right hip, then her left, trying to determine which pose would look the most appealing.</p><p>All too soon, her door was pushed open. Kyo entered with his head down, saying, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about--”</p><p>The last syllable stretched on into nothingness when Kyo finally looked up at her and froze, slack-jawed.</p><p>Tohru let out a nervous laugh. “Um.”</p><p>She’d ended up with her left hip jutting out. But she must’ve had it pushed out a bit too far, because she began to hobble on her one foot. Before she realized the extent of her predicament, she’d already started tilting.</p><p>“Shit!” Kyo lunged forward, but not in time, as Tohru toppled into her dresser with a yelp.</p><p>Kyo grabbed her around the waist before she could fall to the floor. Tohru whimpered, clutching her head, which she was pretty sure she’d smashed against the corner of the dresser.</p><p>“Let me see.” Kyo peeled her hands away from her forehead and swore under his breath at what he saw. “You’re bleeding. Stay still, I’ll be right back!”</p><p>He gently set her down on the floor and ran out of the room, leaving Tohru with a pounding headache and utterly nauseating embarrassment. She buried her face in her hands and groaned.</p><p>She heard Kyo return a moment later with what was probably a first aid kit. She felt him drop to the ground beside her, but she kept her hands where they were. A spot of warmth pooled against her fingertip, what must’ve been the blood he’d mentioned.</p><p>“Tohru.”</p><p>Sniffling, she moved her hands just enough to reveal the wound on her forehead. Kyo said, “It’s gonna sting a bit, okay?” She let out a soft whine in acknowledgement.</p><p>As Kyo set about cleaning her scrape, Tohru was thankful that she didn’t have to talk just yet; but the silence that hung heavy between them only deepened her shame. The lace of the nightgown seemed to burn into her skin. Tears pricked at her eyes, flowing out of both pain and embarrassment.</p><p>After he’d finished applying a bandage, Kyo asked, “Does anything else hurt?”</p><p>Still hiding behind the flimsy shield of her own hands, Tohru gave it some thought. Her right arm, which she’d flung out in an attempt to break her fall, was throbbing. She held it out limply to Kyo, but not before adjusting her other arm to keep her eyes covered.</p><p>Kyo gave a soft laugh as he took hold of her arm. “It’s a little red. Do you want some ice on it?” Tohru shook her head. “Okay.”</p><p>She felt warm lips brush lightly against her sore skin. His hand traced down towards her wrist, turning her arm so that he could press another kiss to the back of her hand. The tenderness in his touch shattered what little composure Tohru had left, and her shoulders began to shake with sobs.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Kyo murmured, running his fingers through her hair. “What is it?”</p><p>“I’m such an idiot!” she cried.</p><p>“No, you’re not.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”</p><p>Tohru dropped her hand away from her face with a gasp. “What? No, you didn’t do anything wrong! I’m the one who’s clumsy, and-- and--”</p><p>Kyo enveloped her hands with his much larger ones. “No. It’s my fault. Tohru, I--” He sighed again and looked away, and she realized that his cheeks were bright red. “I know I’ve been pushing you away, but it’s not anything you’ve done wrong. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it, I just couldn’t find the right moment.”</p><p>He brought his hands, still holding tightly to hers, up to his mouth. His brow furrowed in thought as he met her gaze again. “The other night, on the roof, when we were…” He swallowed hard. “Well, when we were making out. It was great. It was amazing! And I… maybe... enjoyed it a little too much, you know? It… er…”</p><p>Kyo’s head drooped and he let out a groan. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a creep!”</p><p>Tohru leaned forward. “It’s okay! I want to know what’s bothering you, so please tell me.” She shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile. “Besides, it can’t be more embarrassing than what you’ve seen from me today.”</p><p>His responding smile quickly turned into a cringe. “No, it’s pretty embarrassing.” He turned her hands over and began running his calloused fingers across her palms. “So, uh, you know how, when guys get… excited…” He glanced up at her from beneath his bangs; she wished she could alleviate his nerves, but she still wasn’t sure where he was going with this train of thought. “Well, when that happens, it’s… difficult… to hide.” He met her gaze fully, and when he didn’t find the recognition he was looking for, he squared his shoulders and blurted out: “I just didn’t want to walk around the house with a boner, okay?”</p><p>Tohru blinked. “Oh. Oh! <i>Oh</i>.”</p><p>“Yeah. And the last thing I wanted to worry about when I had… <i>that</i> going on was to run into Yuki or Shigure.” Kyo hadn’t let go of her hands; he took one and held it to his cheek, which burned hot against Tohru's skin. “I just didn’t want us to have to sneak around. Not for our first time, anyway.”</p><p>The intensity of his gaze made that familiar fire roar to life in Tohru’s belly, and she was so lost in those flames that it took her a moment to register his words. “So, you’ve just been waiting for us to be alone?”</p><p>He nodded, then removed one hand to scratch the back of his neck. “I should’ve talked to you about it sooner, I just…” A shaky smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I was nervous.”</p><p>“I’m so glad!” Tohru let out a laugh, and when Kyo frowned, she quickly squeezed his hand. “No, I mean, I’m just so relieved! All this time I was thinking that you weren’t… that you didn’t…”</p><p>“What? Did you think I wasn’t interested?” When she answered with a meek nod, he laughed, quirking an eyebrow. “Tohru, you know I’m crazy about you, right?”</p><p>“I know! I know that you love me. I just thought that… maybe you didn’t think I was…” She squirmed and muttered the last word: “Sexy.”</p><p>Kyo sighed. “I guess I can see how you might’ve thought that.” He shifted closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. For those first few seconds, he froze, held his breath, like he always did. Tohru placed her hands on his shoulders, and when no transformation came, she felt the tension leave him. He let out a quick, determined breath through his nostrils. “I guess I need to do a better job showing you how I really feel.”</p><p>He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. While he rested one hand on her neck, the other lingered at her waist, tracing slow circles over the lace of the nightgown. Too soon, he broke away, though his lips still hovered painfully close. “So, uh, this thing.” He tugged at the fabric.</p><p>“Yeah…” Tohru hunched her shoulders. “Pretty silly, huh?”</p><p>“Nah.” He ran his fingers along the bottom hem, and Tohru sucked in a breath as his knuckles grazed her thighs. “What’s silly is a guy making his girlfriend think she has to wear lingerie to get his attention.” He tucked some strands of hair behind her ear and let his fingertips drift down her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. “You definitely don’t need this. You’re enough, just as you are.”</p><p>His soft words, his hand at her neck, his warm gaze, it all enveloped her like a heavy blanket, muddled her mind, made her heart feel featherlight. She let out a laugh that was mostly just a huff of breath. “That’s good. It’s not very comfortable.”</p><p>“Do you want to take it off?”</p><p>When Tohru raised her eyebrows, Kyo seemed to realize what he’d said, and his eyes went wide in panic. “I mean--”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Kyo froze. Before he could give any reaction, Tohru grabbed the hem of the nightgown and pulled it over her head. She sat before him now only in her bra and panties (she hadn’t been <i>that</i> brave). It was the most Kyo had ever seen of her--even her bathing suit had covered her more.</p><p>“Wow,” he breathed.</p><p>“Is this okay?” She wrung her hands together. “I don’t want to make you un--”</p><p>Kyo surged forward, silencing her with a kiss. One hand cupped her cheek, while the other he buried in her hair. He sat up onto his knees, towering over her, and he tilted her face up to meet his. As Tohru sighed against his lips, she opened her mouth wider, an invitation, a request. Kyo pushed his tongue forward, just enough to enter her mouth. His hot breath mingled with hers.</p><p>When once she’d kept all traces of it sealed away, Tohru now let desire be her guide. Closer; she wanted to be closer. She pressed her hands into his chest and let them trail up, snaking her arms around his neck. Reading her, as he always did, Kyo wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in until their chests met. Tohru moaned into the kiss.</p><p>Kyo flattened one hand against her back, and the feel of his palm hot on her bare skin made Tohru gasp. Kyo broke the kiss to stare down at her with darkened eyes.</p><p>“Just,” he panted, “just tell me if you want me to stop. It’s okay if you change your mind.” His hand was at her face again, brushing his knuckles across her flushed cheek. “I know how you are, you don’t always think about yourself like you should. I don’t want you doing anything you don’t wanna do just to make me happy, got it?”</p><p>Tohru blinked, her lips tingling in the absence of him. “Okay. I’ll let you know, I promise.” She smiled and stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. “You’re so sweet, Kyo.”</p><p>He wrinkled his nose. “Don’t compliment me for doing the bare minimum.”</p><p>The sight of his grumpy face had a giggle bubbling out of her. “You’re cute when you make that face.”</p><p>Tendons flexed in Kyo’s face as he clenched his teeth. “Are you laughing at me? Now, of all times?”</p><p>“No,” she said, even as another giggle escaped her. “Sorry!”</p><p>“You don’t <i>sound</i> very sorry.” Before she could even blink, he had her on her back, his hand at her neck cushioning her fall. Her laughter faded as he hovered over her, and she realized the very thing he’d been so nervous about was now brushing her thigh.</p><p>Kyo bent down, and Tohru felt his breath shuddering against her neck. He lingered there for a moment too long, until Tohru reached up to hold the back of his head. When she clenched her hands into fists, tugging at his hair, he answered her plea. His first kiss was soft, barely a brush of his lips against her neck, but it was enough to draw a gasp from her. Emboldened by the sound, he kissed there again, and she felt the warm stroke of his tongue. She tilted her head back and encouraged him with another tug of his hair, causing him to growl into her skin.</p><p>“Tohru.” The way he said her name, the desperation and desire, made her toes curl into the carpet.</p><p>His lips trailed down her neck until he was pressing hungry, open-mouth kisses to her shoulder. He propped himself up with a clenched fist near her head, while his other hand gingerly touched her thigh.</p><p>“Please,” she whined, arching her back.</p><p>“‘Please’ what?” Kyo’s head popped up. His face was flush, his hair disheveled from how Tohru had run her fingers through it. His words came out in a rush. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, so tell me-- tell me what you want, tell me what feels good.”</p><p>Tohru was so distracted by his tousled hair that his words almost didn’t register with her, and when they did, she found herself at a loss. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I don’t know what I’m doing, either. But…” She clutched at the front of his shirt. “I liked what you were doing. I liked everything you were doing.”</p><p>He swallowed hard and nodded, then suddenly his brows furrowed. “Why the hell do I have you on the floor?” He hooked an arm behind her knees and the other behind her shoulders and picked her up.</p><p>With her face now so close to his neck, Tohru took the opportunity to try what he’d so effectively done to her. She felt Kyo’s grip on her shoulder tighten as she planted greedy kisses along his neck. Kyo stumbled backwards until he hit the bed and dropped down onto it, and Tohru quickly arranged herself so that she straddled him. Once again, she felt his stiffness through his pants, only now it was much closer to where her own desire pooled.</p><p>She bit her lip and, bracing her hands on his shoulders, nudged her hips forward. She whimpered at the feel of him firm against her core.</p><p>“<i>Fuck</i>.” Kyo dropped his head onto her shoulder and grabbed hold of her thighs. Tohru moved her hips again, and it was as much the gutteral sound that escaped Kyo as the sensation of him rubbing against her panties that had her legs quivering.</p><p>The straps of her bra had fallen, and she felt teeth scrape her bare shoulder. Tohru grabbed his shirt, bunching the fabric together, but she paused. “Kyo--” Her voice was raspy. “Kyo, can I--”</p><p>In one swift movement, he had his shirt over his head and tossed onto the bed. She didn’t have time to appreciate the sight before he grabbed her face and kissed her hard. His tongue met hers as she gasped into his mouth, and almost instinctively, she began again to grind her hips against him. Moaning and ravenous, Tohru took his bottom lip and sucked it between her teeth, as her hands trailed over the firm planes of his chest.</p><p>Kyo took hold of her shoulders and pushed her back so he could speak, panting, “Wait, you gotta-- you gotta slow down.”</p><p>Dread immediately swept over the haze of desire in her belly as Tohru straightened. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I--”</p><p>Kyo interrupted her with a kiss, as hard as before but much quicker. “No, it’s okay.” Another kiss, and then he nuzzled into her cheek. “It’s okay, I just… I don’t want it to be over too soon, you know?” He buried his hand in her hair at the back of her head and tugged, and Tohru sucked in a breath. “You’re too good at this.”</p><p>“It’s just--” She gasped as Kyo began to nibble on her earlobe, making it suddenly very difficult to speak. “It all feels so good. You feel so good.”</p><p>His hands went to her back, tracing over her bra. “Can I take this off?” he whispered.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>He fumbled for a moment, but managed to unhook the bra, and Tohru threw it behind her. Kyo stared, quite deliberately, into her eyes for several seconds afterwards, until Tohru gave a faint, jerky nod.</p><p>But instead of looking, Kyo grabbed her waist and twisted, pushing her down onto the bed. Only then did he take her in with wide eyes, his swollen lips parted, his face alight with the sort of reverence that was better reserved for temples and shooting stars.</p><p>“Tohru, you…  you’re amazing.”</p><p>She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and drew him down, and he buried his face in her neck. A few deep breaths later, he asked, “Can I kiss you? I mean, can I…”</p><p>But Tohru understood. “Wherever you want.”</p><p>Agonizingly slow, he trailed kisses down her neck, across her collarbone, until he came to the slight swell of her chest. His first kiss there was soft and hesitant, but he grew bolder when Tohru drew her fingernails lightly down his bare back. She moaned as his tongue dragged around her nipple. His hand traced up her side towards her other breast, and Tohru reflexively twitched away from the too-light touch.</p><p>“Tickles,” she explained sheepishly.</p><p>The smirk he shot her was like lighting straight into her core. “Good to know.”</p><p>He returned his attention to her breasts, and Tohru could only writhe beneath his ministrations, clawing desperately at his back. She bucked her hips, once again meeting his erection, and she whimpered with longing; for as exquisite as it was to feel his mouth upon her, teasing her, it wasn’t quite enough. She was greedy. She was aching and <i>empty</i>.</p><p>“Please,” she said, the word nearly a sob.</p><p>“What do you want?” he murmured. She arched into his touch as he squeezed her breast.</p><p>What could she say to that? Did she even know? All she knew was that everything he did felt amazing, but still she wanted more. The fire was raging in her, but it was concentrated, blood pounding in her core.</p><p>Tohru took his hand from her breast and slid it down her stomach, stopping it at her pantyline.</p><p>Kyo’s throat bobbed with a heavy swallow. “You sure?”</p><p>Tohru nodded.</p><p>He trailed his lips up her jaw until he sweetly kissed her cheek. Then he dipped his trembling fingers beneath her panties. She fought the urge to press her knees together when she realized just how wet she was, but any traces of embarrassment fled when he slid a finger between her folds. She threw back her head and sucked in a sharp breath.</p><p>“This okay?” Kyo’s voice was harsh and breathless.</p><p>Words weren’t enough. Tohru grabbed his face and kissed him roughly, biting his lower lip. She rocked her hips against his hand, moaning as he quickened his pace. He pressed his forehead to hers, careful to avoid her bandage, and through the haze of her pleasure, Tohru realized in the intensity of his molten gaze, his erratic breath on her face: he was watching her, and he was enjoying it.</p><p>Tohru met his gaze steadily. “I want to touch you, too.”</p><p>Kyo’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to. This… this is plenty.”</p><p>She pushed herself up. “I want to.”</p><p>Her entire body shook like she’d been left out naked in the cold, and she didn’t know if it was nerves or arousal or both, but she didn’t let it stop her from reaching for his pants. His belt proved difficult with shaking hands, however, and when she’d groped uselessly at it for a moment, Kyo waved her hand away.</p><p>“Here, I’ll just…” Pressing his lips into a thin line, he stood and removed his pants.</p><p>As much as she’d caught glimpses of his naked form during his transformations, Tohru had always managed to avert her eyes before she saw too much. Now, as he dropped his boxers, she didn’t have to look away. She could take in all of him, from his face, turned away from her, to his finely sculpted chest, to his fist that bounced awkwardly against his thigh.</p><p>“Kyo?”</p><p>He kept his head turned to the side, but his eyes darted towards her. “Yeah?”</p><p>Tohru bit her lip and smiled. “You’re really very handsome.”</p><p>His brows knitted together even as a timid little smile tugged at his lips. He moved towards her, but Tohru sat up on her knees in front of him and placed her hands on his chest. Gingerly, her fingertips wandered down his torso, pausing in spots to admire the hard lines, the faint trail of red hair, until at last she reached her goal. Kyo sucked in a sharp breath as her fingers brushed featherlight down his shaft, and only when she got to the tip did she apply tentative pressure. It was surprisingly soft, pleasant to touch, and she traced her fingers around it.</p><p>Kyo tilted his head back and groaned, and Tohru looked up at him with delight. “Does that feel good?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he said to the ceiling. “Holy shit, yeah.”</p><p>Grinning, Tohru wrapped her hand around his shaft and began to stroke, recalling the first few gentle strokes he’d given her. The sounds rumbling deep in his throat made her bold, and she tightened her grip and picked up her speed.</p><p>Kyo grabbed her backside and yanked her close, kissed her fiercely. Tohru leaned her hips so that his cock was pressed against her belly, and she ran her thumb over his tip, drawing another moan from him. She felt his fingers on her once again, only this time they dipped closer to her entrance. And as his tongue explored her mouth, he pushed his finger inside her.</p><p>Tohru groaned and rocked her hips against his hand. Propriety was a distant memory now, nothing compared to the feel of his finger curling inside her, of his thumb pressing down on her, and she unbound herself, let herself become something purely carnal. But even this, as unearthly, as exquisite as it was, was not enough.</p><p>“More,” she whispered. She flinched as another finger entered her, but the stretching sensation was over quickly. Lost as she was in his touch, the movements of her hands on his shaft became erratic. She shoved her panties down to her knees and brought his erection up to meet her, grinding wantonly against him.</p><p>“<i>Fuck</i>, Tohru,” Kyo hissed between his teeth.</p><p>“Ready-- I’m ready.” She buried her face in his neck. “Kyo, <i>please</i>.”</p><p>He moved away, pushed her gently onto her back, and slowly pulled her panties off before disappearing behind the bed. She heard his pants rustling, and he popped up a moment later with a small square wrapper in his hand.</p><p>After only a bit of fumbling, he hovered over her, his arms on either side of her head, sweat beading at his forehead and into his bangs. He paused and gritted his teeth, then he took her by the waist as he rolled onto his back, settling her on top of him.</p><p>“Is this okay?” He reached up and stroked her cheek. “I want you to be in control.”</p><p>Tohru’s fingers curled against his chest, and she smiled, nodding.</p><p>He took hold of himself, and she put her hand over his, helping guide him to her entrance. Her eyes met his, took in the love and the longing she found there, the years of waiting and wishing, and then she pressed down upon him.</p><p>All her blissful dreams of this moment had never included the high-pitched squeak she now let out.</p><p>Kyo’s eyes immediately went wide. “Tohru?”</p><p>Tohru sucked in a deep breath, and as she slowly released it, she willed the muscles in her thighs to relax. His fingers had not prepared her for the sensation of <i>all</i> of him, for how he stretched her, how he filled her completely. She threw back her head, splayed out her hands on his chest to brace herself against him.</p><p>“Tohru?” Kyo said again, panic evident in his voice. He took hold of her hips and began to lift her. “Maybe we should--”</p><p>“No!” she gasped. “No, I’m okay, it’s just…” She looked down at him, chest heaving. “It’s a lot. You’re… a lot. But it’s okay.” And she bent forward and kissed him.</p><p>The feel of his lips moving against hers, of his fingers twining in her hair, allowed her muscles to relax further, and as she melted around him, she began to move her hips. Her movements were slow and fluid, and she silently thanked Kyo for choosing this position, for allowing her to set the pace. But she would have trusted him no matter what, and her mind thrilled at the possibilities, of what other positions he could come up with.</p><p>The fleeting visions she’d had of this moment, alone in the dark of her bedroom months ago, often left her crossing her legs and hiding her face in embarrassment. But now that the moment was here, now that she had him inside her, she felt no shame. She didn’t have to dream about it anymore, because he was hers now. They’d waited for this. They’d fought for this. And as Tohru gripped Kyo’s shoulders and thrust hard against him, she knew they’d earned this. Kyo had always seen straight through to the truth of her soul, and she wasn’t about to try hiding from him now.</p><p>She moaned his name, and he responded by bucking hard against her. While he grabbed her hip with one hand and tugged in time with her thrusts, his other hand went to the space where their bodies met. Tohru whimpered as his thumb pressed into her core and began to rub her mercilessly. Crying out, Tohru rode him harder than before.</p><p>“God… <i>dammit</i>!” Kyo thrust up so hard that Tohru toppled forward onto his chest. His whole body stiffened as he pulsed inside her.</p><p>When he suddenly went limp, Tohru lifted her head. “Was that-- did you--”</p><p>Kyo draped his arm over his eyes and groaned through gritted teeth, “Yes. Sorry.”</p><p>A warm feeling of satisfaction spread through Tohru’s belly. She’d done it. She’d done that for Kyo. She wiggled on top of him and laughed. “Why would you be sorry?”</p><p>“Because I wanted to wait until you were done.” He moved his arm to stare up at her with piercing clarity, and suddenly Tohru found herself on her back.</p><p>“I wanna try something,” he said, panting, as his face hovered over her hips.</p><p>Before Tohru could ask any questions, he dragged his tongue, wet and hot, over her slit, and she let out a strangled cry.</p><p>Kyo threw one of her legs over his shoulder and set his tongue on her again, and now his fingers were inside her. Tohru reached down and gripped his hair, jerking her hips as his fingers stroked her relentlessly. She was powerless beneath his touch, could only writhe and whimper as his tongue and fingers worked her, until at last she stiffened and stars burst behind her eyelids. She cried out his name, fucked his hand in a reckless rhythm as she rode out her climax.</p><p>With one last quiver of her legs, Tohru released her grip on Kyo's hair and gently pushed his hand away. He sat back on his knees, flushed and disheveled.</p><p>“Was that good?” he asked. The concern she saw in his furrowed brows made Tohru long to hold him close, and it took her a second to remember that she could, that there was truly nothing left to stand between them now.</p><p>Humming, she took his wrists and tugged him towards her. “Wonderful,” she sighed.</p><p>She heard him let out a long breath as he settled on top of her. There was still some tension in his shoulders, and his hips hovered away from hers, and she only realized why when he said, “Um… I should go clean up.”</p><p>“Oh!” Tohru giggled. “Right, sorry.”</p><p>He kissed her temple before standing and stumbling out of the room. Tohru would’ve liked to freshen up, too, but all the muscles in her body had gone limp, and she was content to lay there, sinking into her bed.</p><p>When Kyo returned, he joined her in the bed again, curling his body around hers. As he traced his fingertips along her hairline, his eyes went wide. “Oh yeah, how’s your head? Does it hurt?”</p><p>Tohru tapped her fingers across her forehead until she found the bandage. “No, it’s fine. I’d actually forgotten about it.”</p><p>“Oh, good.” He nuzzled his face into her neck and muttered, “Man, I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I made us wait to do this.”</p><p>Tohru wrapped her arms around him and smiled into his hair. “But it was nice not having to sneak around. I mean… I think I was a bit loud.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Kyo lifted his head to give her a small, crooked smile. “I liked it.”</p><p>She looked away with an innocent shrug. “I guess we'll just have to make good use of this time alone.”</p><p>Kyo ran his thumb across her lips. “Yeah. We’ve got all night.”</p><p>They did have all night, Tohru thought, as he kissed her softly. They had the rest of their lives, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Shoutout to Taylor Swift, for writing lyrics that make for great fic titles.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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